Just some feedback after my session with my Psychiatrist today:
The normal experience of grief is a deep sadness, a yearning for the past, often loneliness and a need to reach out for comfort.
There may be initial shock and an inability to comprehend the reality of the loss, raw anguish, and perhaps anger, at being left behind, or an irrational guilt about being alive instead (survivor guilt).
Over time, the pain lessens and the sense of loss fades into a realistic acceptance that life must go on.
I can confirm that my Dr is happy to highlight that I have fast-tracked the grieving process which usually occurs after a traumatic event.
I have the unique advantage that I framed my experience as a ‘new me being born’ instead of my old self remaining intact.
My appreciation for my mental gifts played in my favour and he is convinced that I already let the trauma fade into the background whilst focusing on my new-found appreciation of life.
The scar on my wrist is thus a cesarean scar (c-section) symbolising the birth of the new me!
Self-observation as an agent of behavioral change
Self-observation is an awareness practice where you turn your attention inward, and non-judgmentally watch what you think, feel, and do.
Imagine that as an observer, you have access to your inner landscape. You observe your thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc. as they occur within you.
These patterns of behaviour are both tenacious and automatic. Self-observation creates a space.
In that space lies an opportunity for you to make a conscious choice. Is my automatic response pattern the best option for this circumstance, or would another behaviour be more helpful now?
Self-observation never becomes a habit. Just like following a diet, you must develop the discipline to periodically reflect and notice what pattern is presenting.
The good news is that just noticing them relaxes them and makes them less compulsive. Self-observation creates a “map” of your own specific habits and patterns.
The more you develop your ability to observe your conduct, the more you can bring your unconscious, reactive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving into your awareness.
Then you’ll be able to consciously choose and control them to best serve the situation.
I must now enter this stage in my personal and professional growth. It will allow me to identify behaviours that are to my benefit as well as to those around me.
This is the next step in aligning my skillset with being successful at home and at work. Exciting!
No change, happy to report that we’ll keep it as it is since I function very well.
My Dr is very supportive and confident that I have healthy control over my life right now.
My next appointment is only in March, which is great news indeed!