Arriving home after 2 weeks in a Psychiatric Hospital post my failed suicide attempt due to Autistic Burnout – seeing my teenage Daughter

13:00

I approach my front gate and reach for the remote on my set of house keys. I push the blue button with my left thumb and watch the motorized gate slide to the right. I drive up the driveway and park next to my house. I turn off the ignition and I just sit in silence to gather my thoughts.

My teenage daughter is inside. My mother also. They have been taking care of our house for the past 2 weeks while I was in hospital. They do not know that I have tried to commit suicide, I told them I had an accident when I was admitted and they thought I bumped my head and was there for concussion treatment.

How do I start to explain to my dear child what had happened? Will it upset her? will she freak out? Will she be angry? Will she be disappointed? Will she understand?

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Her mother and I got divorced when she was just 2. She stayed with her mother until she was 7 and then came to live with me for the past 10 years. I was a father and mother to her. I taught her how to think, how to be a human, how to be the best version of herself, how to never give up. Now I am about to tell her that I am a hypocrite. I gave up on Life. Well, okay not entirely, you see. I can explain it to her, if she’ll let me…

*sigh*

I open the door and start walking towards the front door.

“Just tell the truth” I think to myself, “It is the best approach in life.”

I open the door and see her face light up 🙂

“Hello, Dad!” She smiles, “Welcome back!” she says as she hurries toward me for a hug.

I start to cry….

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