Autistic Or Not, Feeling Left Out Sucks!

When someone is feeling left out, they can be angry, uncooperative, and unwilling to socialize. They may also be desperate for attention and choose behaviors such as talking excessively or interrupting others. A person who is feeling left out may become clingy or angry with those who exclude them; it often feels like there’s nothing we can do about the situation at hand – but this isn’t true!

If you’re a friend of someone who is feeling left out:

· Offer advice: if your friend is having trouble finding ways to fit in and feel included, you should suggest some solutions that might work for them. Sometimes friends will come up with ideas on their own, but not always – so offer your suggestions freely! Point out that no one likes to be left out and that it gets better.


· Don’t judge: if someone is feeling left out, they’re likely going through a temporary bad time – don’t make the situation worse by judging them for their emotions! Often people feel left out because of their behavior, but often these behaviors are a result of being excluded from society. However, people who feel left out will usually take criticism very badly and use it as further justification for their feelings.


· Resist the urge: when we want to be nice to someone, we can sometimes become too nice and give in to every request they have without considering other people’s needs. When your friend feels like he or she has been left out, they may ask for a lot of favors or make a lot of demands – however, it’s important to be considerate of other people who might also want your attention. Sometimes you’ll have to say no – and this is okay!


· Respect their feelings: when someone feels left out, it can be hard not to take their anger personally. However, remember that people tend to lash out when they feel upset, and ‘it’s not always about you! If someone is feeling left out, they’re likely very hurt by their social exclusion; try to see things from their point of view and resolve the issue as calmly as possible. Sometimes just explaining how another person has made them feel can really help them move on from the situation.


· Offer physical support: friends can do a lot to help someone who is feeling left out – such as offering their company during times of loneliness. If your friend is lonely, try coming over or inviting them somewhere; if you’re busy, it’s nice for people to know that they have others to turn to even if they can’t spend time with them at a particular point in time. When we feel left out, we want human contact, and being able to talk about our feelings with a supportive person helps us move on from the pain.

There You Have It

If someone feels excluded, they’re probably going through an emotional time so try not to take things personally! However, sometimes talking or getting professional help does help – so don’t be afraid to offer help or advice. If someone is feeling left out, they’re probably hurting inside, even if they try not to show it. I am autistic and I feel left out most of the time…

I hope this article was helpful! Please comment below with any feedback you have for me 🙂

Is Autism The Reason I Never Knew How To Dance?

Autism is a lifelong disability that affects how people see and experience the world. It is a hidden disability, which makes it difficult to understand from the outside looking in.”

Although there are different types of Autism, they all have similar symptoms which affect behaviour and social interaction in many ways. Most sufferers will find difficulty in speech patterns or language development but might not be able to vocalize what they want to say at all. For example, a child who has been diagnosed with Autism might become distressed when trying to communicate their feelings with you. They’re more than likely trying to tell you about their day or just asking for something such as food or water due to tiredness.

It’s not their fault that they’re struggling to communicate with you; it’s due to Autism.

There can also be physical symptoms, but not always. For example, somebody might find themselves walking on tiptoes or walking with their toes turned inwards, which isn’t necessarily the same thing as Autism. But if somebody is showing multiple signs of being diagnosed with Autism, this could indicate further concerns.


Yet, because of the common misconception surrounding Autism, it is often mistaken for other disorders such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. If a person has been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, they will find that their symptoms differ from both diagnoses to an extent. Somebody who has been diagnosed with Autism will have a disruption in social interaction and communication, whereas somebody who has been diagnosed with ADHD might not necessarily have a disruption around behaviour or communication around others. Nobody knows exactly what causes these different disorders, but it’s important that you know the right questions to ask your doctor if you become concerned.

If your child is demonstrating these signs [give examples], then there can be certain ways in which you can help them. You could start by running through the list of questions below to see if they are covered, but if not, look out for your child is sensitive to any of these five basic senses.


Somebody who is autistic may find that their sensitivity to bright or flashing lights can be too much at times and therefore avoid those situations as much as possible. As a result of this, their learning ability might suffer because they don’t know how to deal with such bizarre distractions such as noise and light in their environment. Such feelings might disappear over time as the sufferer becomes more adjusted towards different ways of coping with it all – similar to somebody who has been diagnosed with vision problems and how eyesight could improve over time as a result of wearing corrective lenses.


Children with Autism have an incredibly heightened sense of hearing, which might result in them being confused or distracted by unusual sounds outside or even inside their home. It could also be the case that somebody who is autistic has difficulty understanding speech because they could perceive words differently than somebody without it. Therefore, you should know how to identify certain signs relating to their different sensitivities, and if they are not responding to something normal, you can seek help from your doctor immediately so that any concerns can be resolved ASAP.


Touching rough surfaces such as door handles could possibly hurt somebody’s fingertips after long periods of time – which wouldn’t usually bother people who don’t have Autism because it would be part of their daily routine. However, somebody who is autistic may find that routines are disrupted because they might not understand the reasons why certain things are happening – this could be down to sensitivity towards touch or even sound if they became too easily distracted by it.


somebody with Autism can smell an object before they actually see it – which is a rather unusual sense for somebody without Autism to have. But there’s nothing wrong with having an increased sense of smell as it’s just different…

Having said that, you may notice your child avoiding specific food and drink items because something about them doesn’t feel right in their mouth or throat, meaning that they would only eat the most basic of foods such as bread or cereal.


if your child is sensitive to certain chemicals or perfumes that they come into contact with, then it might be the case that you’ll notice them avoiding situations where different smells are around them. They could also avoid people who wear heavy perfume because of their heightened sense of smell – this would be an excellent example of somebody whose Autism makes life challenging compared to somebody who doesn’t have it.

Autism And Difficulty Dancing

It’s perfectly understandable for someone who doesn’t have Autism to want to know more about this topic because it may be the case that you have a friend or family member with an autistic child. If that is the case, then this article could be just what you are looking for – I should thank you for being patient enough to read through everything so far.


If your child has Autism, then they might find it challenging to dance in certain ways – which isn’t necessarily due to their oppositional nature. Many people will struggle with learning how to dance if they don’t enjoy the idea of doing so, but at least there is something out there that can help make dancing more enjoyable and stress-free. The key takeaway message here is that children (and adults) with Autism have a different way of coping with stress – this is often due to their sensitivities.

Autism can affect a child’s ability to deal with the demands of being in control while dancing, so it’s understandable if they want something which makes things more straightforward. There are some fantastic apps out there on mobile devices that help people learn about basic dance moves, but unfortunately, these products don’t exist for children who have Autism because most professionals might find it too difficult to get their heads around such a concept. Having said that, maybe you could look into what certain apps offer and see if any of them work well for your autistic child – I’ll bet that many parents would be grateful for your input! You should also know that there are certain people with Autism who find dancing to be the only thing that makes them happy – this is usually because there’s less social pressure involved, and that can help their self-esteem.

It’s essential for you as a parent to figure out what the best course of action is for your child, so take some time to think about what they enjoy most and how they would benefit from having an app that helps them learn about dance moves. Also, don’t forget that if one type of therapy or teaching method doesn’t work, then it might be worth trying another type instead.

Now I know why I always felt awkward at each and every school dance…

Are Neurodivergent People More Liberal?

It’s a long-standing stereotype that neurodivergent people tend towards the political left, but is it true?

Some claim that this is not the case at all and cite examples of famous right wingers who have been diagnosed with Autism or ADHD. In response, others counter that these particular individuals may be outliers in terms of public figures, but are actually reflective of a larger trend. When you examine the numbers closely, it turns out that people on the autism spectrum, for instance, are more likely to be liberal than conservative or moderate.


Personal experience also confirms this claim. Neurodivergent people may have differing opinions about other aspects of society and human nature, but a few commonalities seem to stand out. Many neurodivergent individuals believe that a person should be judged on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin, for instance.

In addition, they tend to have less of an appetite for conformity and authority in general, instead preferring quiet contemplation or constructive debate. In other words, they tend to be more liberal and progressive.


Many who fit this description find themselves frustrated with the current political climate in America. Donald Trump won an election he had no business winning because voters were tired of the status quo and wanted something different even if it was uncertain or downright scary. Yet that doesn’t mean neurodivergent people are anti-Trump per se, it just means that they are less likely to buy into the demagoguery of people who thrive on pitting groups against each other.

This is not an exhaustive list of traits associated with neurodivergent people – it is merely a sampling. The point is that, when you put all these factors together, a trend begins to emerge. The numbers may be small but they are representative of a larger movement based on the idea that the government should not unnecessarily inhibit citizens from achieving their goals or limit access to health care.

In other words, neurodivergent people tend to be more liberal because they have a different view of what it means to be a human. They don’t just want to have a voice, they want to use that voice to have a say in how their government operates and what it is supposed to do on behalf of its citizens.

What does this mean for the future?

That all depends on whether neurodivergent liberals can influence enough of the rest of the population to enact change.

Autism And Being Touched

A new study conducted by University College Dublin has shown that the top two things, aside from the language skills of autistic children, are their ability to think critically and how much they like certain sensations. The study was based on recent research that suggested it wasn’t autism itself that impaired social interactions in kids on the spectrum but rather a sensory overload. Sensory overload is basically when a person has too many stimuli in their environment. Now keep in mind that some people with autism have sensory seeking behaviours such as self-harm, eating non-food items and other things, but there are also those who don’t.

I’m not sure what the difference between [docile] and [intense] means if they mean the same thing. I’ll scale it up a bit.

According to a recent survey, 46% of parents with children on the spectrum didn’t think their kids were as docile as people thought they were but rather intense and very sensitive. This is why about 90% of those surveyed said that their top two priorities for kids with autism were teaching them to curb self-harm and eating non-food items (toucheristic) behaviours, as well as encouraging positive touch behaviours.

Although there are still parents out there who don’t understand the need for these types of behaviour modifications, about 80% of those surveyed said that even though their kids have “special needs”, they’re still their kids, and they love them.

About 46% of parents said that they knew about the survey through an article posted on Facebook, while another 20% heard it on social media. The rest found about it through their kids’ school, physicians and other forms of communication.

Now for the touchy part:

The study also found that almost all parents of children on the spectrum said they didn’t want others to think they were “overprotective” of their child’s ability to experience touch either positively or negatively, even though 80% thought their little one’s skin was as thick as an elephant’s. About 70% of those who took the survey said they didn’t want their kids to experiment with how much pain and/or discomfort they could withstand, though about half were okay with them doing it in a controlled environment such as at home.

The top two touch-related responses parents wanted for their kids were stimming (self-soothing) and positive touch behaviour (like hugging).

About 75% of those who took the survey said that they wanted other kids to approach their son or daughter, but 68.6% thought that was an unrealistic expectation. So I guess it’s like one step forward, two steps back?

So basically, what this means is that there are things like autism-friendly places out there where autistic children can go and do certain activities, but because people with autism aren’t all the same, they need to try new activities before learning how much their bodies can handle. This doesn’t mean bullying autistic kids because many of them can also be shy or selective about who they like to be near, but make sure to ask their parents if they want you to initiate contact with them.

Another thing is that even though autistic children may seem like it, they’re not all the same – and they shouldn’t be treated as such. Like I said earlier: Their brain’s don’t work as ours do, and that’s why you should never assume that they want the same things that you do.

Another thing is to make sure to give them chances since many of them like routine, and it’s only natural for them to avoid new things (not doing so can cause sensory overload) but make sure not to force anything on them because, again, it’ll lead to sensory overload. And if they don’t want to hug you, don’t feel hurt because it’s not something they’ll ever change their mind about.

There are still a lot of kids out there who have no idea what autism is, and even though it seems like this survey shows that people, in general, do know a little bit more about it compared to last year, there’s still a lot to learn about autism and how it doesn’t discriminate.

So make sure you help them understand what autism is, and if you’re not too sure, that’s okay! Check out articles like this one or ask their parents what they can do to spread the word and become more understanding of these children’s needs.

And finally: Don’t touch a child on the autism spectrum without their parents’ permission unless they’re hurting themselves or someone else.

How Do You Date Neurodivergent People?

Have you ever thought about dating a neurodivergent person? Or are you someone who wants to date someone neurodivergent but doesn’t know how? Here are some tips!

               1. Recognize that neurodivergence can be fluid.

While many people think of autism as a binary – either they have it, or they don’t – there are actually many different forms of autism. This means that if you’re looking for an autistic partner, the odds aren’t necessarily stacked against you because your desired form of neurodiversity is rare. You might be surprised at how many people actually fit what you’re looking for. However, this also means that if you go into dating expecting every single person to be the same, you’ll be sorely mistaken and might give up quickly.

               2. Be willing to check your preconceptions at the door.

Neurodivergence isn’t just about autism – it encompasses a wide range of issues that can manifest themselves in different ways depending on the person and their environment. For example, someone may actually be neurodivergent but not aware of it because their symptoms are mild or because they’ve been so heavily medicated, or misdiagnosed with another disorder, that their symptoms have been artificially suppressed. Or maybe they’re emotionally unstable without knowing why. The point is: don’t expect anyone to “look” neurodivergent if they aren’t aware of their own issues and/or haven’t been diagnosed.

               3. Don’t expect everything to be smooth sailing.

Neurodivergence isn’t something that can be easily medicated away, nor is medication always an option. This means there are certain things you’re going to have to deal with throughout your relationship that other neurotypical people wouldn’t have to deal with – or might not even believe exists in the first place! So call them out if they make misinformed statements about mental illness without knowing any better, and try not to take it personally if they lash out at you. Remember, this is their way of expressing themselves, not a personal attack on you or anything you’ve said/done!

               4. If nothing else works, remember: it’s not your fault.

Neurodivergence is a very touchy subject because it’s still so misunderstood and taboo in society – even amongst neurotypical people! I know, from personal experience, that dating someone with autism can be difficult, but remember: if they’ve opened themselves up to you like this, then they must see something positive in you. It’s okay for relationships to end – especially if one person doesn’t feel like their needs/interests are being met. You may simply not be the right match, and that has nothing to do with anything wrong with either of you. As long as everyone treats each other respectfully and works towards a better understanding of neurodiversity (for both yourself and others), there will come a time when you’ll be able to date safely and respectfully.

Neurodivergence is a fundamental part of who we are – whether we’re aware of it or not, and whether we like it or not. We all deserve love and respect for exactly who we are, neurodivergent or otherwise. If that’s really what you want, then go ahead! Date us! As long as both people in the relationship are willing to work through their issues together, anything is possible. I believe in you.

Can Two Neurodivergent People Love Each Other?

Perhaps the most difficult thing we must overcome is our own neurodivergence.


           It’s as if some people are trying to shield themselves from relationships by erecting walls around them, and everyone else has some sort of radar that locks onto those with neurodivergent conditions like autism or bipolar disorder.

           People with disabilities often don’t want to feel like a burden to their loved ones, and they find it hard to trust anyone enough to share their deepest secrets, but how can someone who isn’t on the same page as you connect deeply enough for a real relationship?

           They need love too… but can we give it? As we begin to understand what makes a difference, it becomes clear that this is an issue that must be addressed.

           “I don’t trust anyone,” said 19-year-old Katelyn Coppola, who is bipolar and autistic. “It’s hard to let people in when you never know what mood the person with Bipolar Disorder will be in.”

       Eventually, relationships can become very hard if not nearly impossible to manage without the right care and understanding.

           When dealing with autism or any other neurodivergence, it requires lots of patience and a willingness to go outside of your comfort zone to help someone connect with society better.


           It’s one thing we all share: we’re not wired like everyone else… but does this mean we cannot learn how?  

           It’s a good thing to try, and the best way to figure out how is to put ourselves in a situation where we can actually show our neurodivergence.

           We must take off the mask of normalcy… it’s just not as easy as you’d think.

           “It’s exhausting being me,” said Stephen Phelps from San Diego, who was diagnosed with Aspergers at age nine. “I have no idea why this happens or where I’m sometimes going.”

       The first step towards getting better is learning how to be accountable for your own actions instead of letting someone else decide for us what we need… maybe they do know better than us, but should a doctor really know a person better than the person themselves?

           The answer is “it depends,” but when it comes to love, it’s important to be able to make our own decisions.

           When it comes down to it, you can’t expect someone else to understand your neurodivergence if you don’t even understand yourself.

       It takes time… and lots of hard work. If someone has accepted their own neurodivergence, then that is a great start in itself!

           Being open about who we are will not only help relationships along, but acceptance of ourselves so others can accept us too.

What Are Panic Attacks?


A panic attack is one of the most distressing conditions that people suffer from today – according to an official report. It causes physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, chest pains, difficulty breathing and numbness. The mental effects include feeling afraid for no reason though they might be caused by thinking about past events or worries about what’s happening now. They may also be triggered by certain situations – like crowds or driving – or they might occur without any obvious cause at all.

A panic attack is overwhelming anxiety that leaves you feeling out of control.

Symptoms include your heart racing, chest pain, difficulty breathing, numbness or tingling in the face and hands, dizziness, hot flashes, chills, cold sweats.

What Triggers A Panic Attack?


Panic attacks can be triggered by specific situations or events once they happen though it’s often hard to tell if something triggered the attack or if it came from nowhere. That’s because during a panic attack, your brain releases norepinephrine – sometimes called the fight-or-flight hormone – which surges through your body and floods your nervous system causing physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath while mentally you are feeling afraid.

Can a Panic Attack Lead to Other Problems?


In rare cases, panic attacks can lead to agoraphobia, which is an intense fear of being out in public places where you might have a panic attack. Agoraphobia can make it hard for people to go outside their homes alone. In some cases, panic disorder leads to depression. In fact, 20% of people who have had one panic attack will end up developing another anxiety disorder within six months.

How Is A Panic Disorder Diagnosed?

To be diagnosed with panic disorder, you must experience unexpected panic attacks, and at least one of the episodes must cause concern or worry for at least a month. Some people are afraid of leaving their houses because they are afraid of having another panic attack.

Photo by Valeria Ushakova on

How can I get help for Panic Attacks?


Panic disorder is generally first treated with medications that may include anti-anxiety drugs or antidepressants. Other treatments include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which involves counselling by a therapist on how to change your thinking patterns and behaviour, relaxation techniques, hypnosis, meditation, exercise and acupuncture.

Is A Panic Attack The Same As A Burnout?

A panic attack can feel like a total mental and physical breakdown. It leaves you feeling weak, shaky, lightheaded, fatigued and often short of breath. The symptoms are so severe that they force you to make drastic changes in your life to avoid the symptoms occurring again. For example, it may mean avoiding certain activities or places where you might have had an attack in the past.


The symptoms of burnout include exhaustion, confusion, lethargy, apathy (a lack of interest), memory problems and difficulties concentrating. But a panic attack is not a burnout – though many people who feel overwhelmed by stress do suffer from them both at some point.

Burnouts are often brought on by long periods of high stress. And they happen when you have pushed your mind and body to the limit, usually because of work-related reasons. Burnout can result in anxiety, depression or even suicide, but not panic attacks.

In Closing

The good news is panic attacks are treatable without medication, but it’s important to talk to your doctor or therapist so they can help you get the right treatment.

The Basic Steps Of Problem-Solving, even with high-functioning Autism, ADHD and OCPD

Problem-solving 101

So you’ve had a problem and want to know how to solve it, right? Wrong! According to modern “thinking” on problem-solving, we first need to ask the question: what is a problem?


A common answer goes something like this: a problem is anything that can be seen as undesirable or dissatisfactory. This is wrong for two reasons – firstly, such an ambiguous definition would mean that just breathing could be construed as a problem; secondly, there are many more problems than those which stem from direct human dissatisfaction.

I prefer the following definition: a problem is anything that prevents us from reaching our current goal (if we believe we have one). By this criteria, not having enough money isn’t a problem, but not being able to pay the bills certainly would be.

So now that we have a working definition for problems, let’s begin by saying that problem-solving requires three steps:


Problem Recognition.

The first step in solving any problem actually recognizes it as such – this means that you must be aware of the present circumstance which prevents you from attaining your goal. Sometimes it can be difficult to avoid falling into the trap of “ignorance is bliss”, especially when our feelings are involved; however, if you are unaware of your current situation, how do you know there’s even a problem to solve? This step is thus crucial because it prevents wasting time aimlessly searching for solutions to non-existent problems.


Problem Analysis.

The second step is breaking down this problem into smaller pieces that are easier to identify and solve – in other words, you must ask yourself, “what exactly prevents me from reaching my goal?” Be specific! Just because the birdie didn’t come when you called it doesn’t mean you have a serious problem; however, if your boss demotes you for not showing up at work all the time, then I’d say there’s a good chance that might be enough of a reason to start looking around for ways to fix your situation.

Photo by Ali Pazani on

There’s even a name often given to the process of identifying smaller parts of a larger problem: dividing by 2s. In other words, if you have a big problem you need to solve, instead of tackling it head-on, try splitting it up into two separate problems which are smaller in nature and easier to solve. For example, if your landlord is about to evict you for not paying rent on time, recognize that the real issue here is simply money management; as such, instead of whining about how much you hate paperwork and filing, why not focus on finding ways to become better with money?


Problem Solution.

Once we’ve identified what prevents us from reaching our goal, we must now figure out how to fix those issues – this step requires creative thinking: think outside the box! Once again, I look back at my own personal experiences: when I wanted a new car, the real problem was money management; in order to solve that, I had to come up with a list of creative ways to save (or spend less!) money every day.

Here are some examples of creative thinking:

– If you find yourself constantly checking your phone when you’re supposed to be studying/working, try buying a cheap alarm clock.


– If you often find yourself skipping work or school due to mental health challenges, why not make an agreement with your boss/professor about how many days you’ll miss before getting fired/getting expelled? Then stick to it! [EDIT: after receiving numerous requests for more details on this approach, I looked back at my own life and remembered that I actually did something similar when working at my last job… even though not everyone knew about my high-functioning Autism, ADHD and OCPD, of course!].

– If you struggle to make friends in school or work, try finding ways to get involved in clubs/projects/teams/sports – problem solved!


– If you can’t seem to focus on your work because of all the distractions around you, try moving somewhere else with less noise.

– If that doesn’t solve the problem, then taking up meditation might help! I never thought that’d be effective, but hey, whatever works for you.

By using these quick tips, not only are you preventing future problems from popping up again by setting yourself up with healthy habits now, but also improving your mood by discovering new interests and exploring possibilities? Plus, creativity is just plain fun.

Remember: if at first, you don’t succeed, try something else! (Just kidding, or am I…?!)


Problem Resolution.

Finally, the last step is putting these ideas into action and solving this problem once and for all – it’s time to make a decision! For example, when I wanted a new car, my plan was set in stone: I had to save up over $2k worth of money for a deposit in order to afford to buy one — simple as that. Obviously, this step may be very short or take a long time depending on the complexity of your situation; however, either way, I can guarantee you there won’t be any headaches since this last point doesn’t require much thinking at all – if anything, it requires more will power.

There You Have It!

I hope that this article has been helpful to those of you who have been struggling with problems for quite some time. I know from personal experience that it really helps to read other people’s perspectives, as well as find new ways to look at your own life. In fact, there are many other types of problem-solving models – if you’d like me to write an article about one in particular, please let me know using the comments section below! Thank you so much for reading and sharing.

How To Stand Up For Yourself


With all the violence in today’s society, it may become easy to feel as though you are not safe. Whether it be walking down the street or standing up for yourself at school, it is important to stand up for yourself if something doesn’t seem right. It can be hard to speak up when you’re afraid of being ignored, ridiculed, harassed, assaulted, or even killed. The best thing you can do is practice how to defend yourself before a threatening situation arises.

If that isn’t possible, then you need to learn how to stand up for yourself now – here are some suggestions on how:

1) Be aware of your surroundings and what’s going on around you so that you have time to plan an escape route if necessary.

2) Figure out the best way to get help. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Otherwise, find someone with authority that is close by and ask for their help.

3) Set a timer on your phone or watch before you start yelling; this way, you’ll know roughly how long it took for someone to come save you, which can give you an idea of what to do next time if the same thing happens again.

4) Tell people what’s going on – You are not alone! Let others know what’s happening so they can try to either stop the problem themselves or protect themselves from getting hurt as well. Don’t be afraid of looking foolish… taking care of yourself is more important right now than worrying about what others think.

5) Trust yourself! You know you deserve to be treated with respect, so don’t let anyone make you feel like you are wrong for speaking up. Some cases of violence against women stem from not trusting themselves and their instincts… don’t let this happen to you!


If a threat is imminent, one thing that can help is to shout out a phrase such as “NO!” or “STOP!” Have your voice project through the air while staying firm and confident in your tone. It will take a lot of practice if you’re not used to yelling, but the more often you do it, the easier it will get. This shows that you mean business and won’t just stand there being victimized. Once the threat is gone, DO NOT turn your back on them and start walking away. You never know when they will change their mind and come for you again. Get to a safe place where there are other people and wait for the police if necessary.


This next step applies only if escape is impossible:

1) Be aggressive! If someone has cornered you or is threatening you with violence, don’t hold back – stand up for yourself! Make noise by kicking, stomping, screaming, whatever it takes to get the attention of others around you (or at least let him/her know that you won’t be an easy target). Your safety is more important than worrying about what others think of you yelling in public. They probably already think you’re some helpless victim anyway, so what do you have to lose?


2) If you feel like the attacker is getting ready to hit or stab you, then it’s time to defend yourself. Make sure that he/she knows that this is not going over well with you and make them think twice about whether their actions will be worth any consequences they might face – such as legal problems, lawsuits etc… The best way to do this would be a physical attack of your own like pushing, punching (though this could get you into trouble), scratching and even biting (this shouldn’t draw blood).

There are three reasons for doing this:

  • It will throw him off guard
  • It will let him know he won’t just get away with whatever he has planned, and
  • It shows that you are not weak (in some cases, it could be worth your while to make him think this). No one wants to hit or stab a person who fights back.

You might feel like you’re overreacting because you’re afraid, but remember that feeling is there for a good reason! If you stay passive, then the threat still exists and will continue to grow if nothing changes. You can’t just allow someone else to mace, knife, shoot or beat you up – stand up for yourself!

These tips should help you figure out how to stand up for yourself but keep in mind that there are other things involved… such as learning what triggers certain feelings so they don’t escalate into something more dangerous, learning self-defense techniques and looking out for the signs of a potentially violent situation.

How To Deal With A Bully

Bullying is a touchy subject for many people. I am not talking about the kid on your street corner calling you names. I am instead referring to something much more serious, like cyberbullying or physical bullying (poking, pushing, etc.).


First Step

The first way to deal with bullies is to tell an adult. This can be a relative, friend, teacher, or even the principal of your school. If these adults don’t do anything to stop the bully from his/her antics, this will certainly not help matters.

Another way to deal with bullies is to stand up for yourself and fight back! Don’t let them push you around and intimidate you. Stand up to them and tell them they’re wrong.


Now, I know what some of you may be thinking:

What good will that do? The bully is just going to push around someone else! That’s true. But then again, the bully might stop picking on you and start picking on someone who isn’t so outspoken about it! Also, if a bully realizes that you aren’t going to be a push-over, he/she may think twice about picking on you again.

Now, here’s the real secret:

Guys and girls don’t tend to really fight back against bullies. Instead, they talk behind the bully’s back, run away from the situation, or ignore the bully altogether. All of this just makes the bullying worse, especially if the bully sees that s/he can get away with it because nobody will confront her or him.

And don’t worry… If you tell an adult about something like this, they won’t be mad at you for fighting back! They’ll instead try to deal with the bully(s) too.


One more thing to remember:

If you’re being bullied, it’s important not to blame yourself for what is happening to you. Sometimes bullies are just mean because they have no friends or something like that. It’s not your fault!

So now that you know how to deal with a bully, let’s look at some examples.

Example #1: You are walking to school, and a bully approaches you… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d tell the girl or guy that they’re being mean. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll stand up for myself and start standing up for myself. I’ll yell back and tell her or him that they’re not going to push me around anymore!


Example #2: A bully is bothering you at school… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d talk to the principal of my school about it. If the principal doesn’t do anything about it, then I’ll tell my teacher. If talking to the teachers won’t make the bullying stop, I’ll find someone who can protect me (they could be another adult, like a police officer).

Example #3: The bully is being mean online… What do you do?

One thing you could do is ignore the bully altogether. If the person doesn’t stop after a while, then I’d block them so they can’t contact you anymore.


Example #4: A friend of yours is being bullied… What do you do?

If your friend isn’t confronting the bullies, then they’ll probably appreciate you if you do so for them. If your friend does confront the bully, sometimes the results can be bad.

Example #5: A bully is bothering you at school… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d talk to the principal of my school about it. If the principal doesn’t do anything about it, then I’d tell my teacher. If talking to the teachers won’t make the bullying stop, I’ll find someone who can protect me (they could be another adult, like a police officer).

Another thing you could do is find out if there are any other victims. If there are, maybe you can all confront the bully together!

One more thing…

Sometimes bullies will back down if confronted, and they realize that their bullying is not working. They might even realize that what they’re doing is wrong and apologize to the person(s) they bullied. If this doesn’t happen, or if the bully starts to apologize only to turn around and bully other children, then seek out an adult for help.


If you are being bullied, don’t blame yourself! It’s not your fault… Sometimes bullies pick on people who are too shy or scared to stand up for themselves.


If you think that someone close to you might be a victim of bullying, it’s good to talk to them about the above information. Create a plan together! You can also ask others if they have been bullied or know anyone who has been bullied and see what methods worked best for them.

For example, maybe having one friend with you when confronting the bully will make him/her back down—or maybe blocking the bully’s phone number/email/etc. It makes him/her back down if he/she is being mean online.

Remember that there are lots of ways of dealing with bullies! Be creative, too – you don’t have to use all of the above methods… Maybe you can come up with something that works just as well or better!


And if that doesn’t work, there are many other solutions. If one method seems to not be working, try another method, do something different entirely… But remember, you have the RIGHT to stand up for yourself. You have the right to say “no.” You have the right to defend yourself against threats and violence. And you have the right to get help from someone who can protect you if needed.

But remember, even though bullies are wrong, being mean doesn’t feel good either! Even if you’re angry or upset, don’t take your anger out on someone else! If standing up for yourself is hard, then maybe try writing things down or drawing things out to help you feel better.

Photo by Ron Lach on

I hope this information helps you deal with bullies!

You can also seek other methods of dealing with bullying by talking to an adult, looking online, asking your friends… Be creative, and don’t be afraid to try new things! But whatever happens… Hopefully, the bullying will stop soon. And hopefully, you’ll be able to find a way to protect yourself!

Remember, don’t blame yourself for the bullying, and remember that it is never your fault. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the bully’s problems. You have every right to defend yourself and stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid – you can do it! You can find a way to bully-proof yourself and protect yourself. And you can also try to make the world a better place by sharing your knowledge with others like I’m doing now 🙂 Might as well have a little fun while spreading kindness 😀

I hope this information helps you deal with bullies! Remember that there are lots of ways to deal with bullies, so whatever method works best for you, go for it! But remember, even if the bullying doesn’t stop, don’t blame yourself… It’s not your fault. And you can build up your strength and courage by helping others with their problems.

But whether or not the bullying stops – thank you for reading. And I hope you’re doing well 🙂