How To Stand Up For Yourself

Advertisements

With all the violence in today’s society, it may become easy to feel as though you are not safe. Whether it be walking down the street or standing up for yourself at school, it is important to stand up for yourself if something doesn’t seem right. It can be hard to speak up when you’re afraid of being ignored, ridiculed, harassed, assaulted, or even killed. The best thing you can do is practice how to defend yourself before a threatening situation arises.

If that isn’t possible, then you need to learn how to stand up for yourself now – here are some suggestions on how:

1) Be aware of your surroundings and what’s going on around you so that you have time to plan an escape route if necessary.

2) Figure out the best way to get help. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Otherwise, find someone with authority that is close by and ask for their help.

3) Set a timer on your phone or watch before you start yelling; this way, you’ll know roughly how long it took for someone to come save you, which can give you an idea of what to do next time if the same thing happens again.

4) Tell people what’s going on – You are not alone! Let others know what’s happening so they can try to either stop the problem themselves or protect themselves from getting hurt as well. Don’t be afraid of looking foolish… taking care of yourself is more important right now than worrying about what others think.

5) Trust yourself! You know you deserve to be treated with respect, so don’t let anyone make you feel like you are wrong for speaking up. Some cases of violence against women stem from not trusting themselves and their instincts… don’t let this happen to you!

Advertisements

If a threat is imminent, one thing that can help is to shout out a phrase such as “NO!” or “STOP!” Have your voice project through the air while staying firm and confident in your tone. It will take a lot of practice if you’re not used to yelling, but the more often you do it, the easier it will get. This shows that you mean business and won’t just stand there being victimized. Once the threat is gone, DO NOT turn your back on them and start walking away. You never know when they will change their mind and come for you again. Get to a safe place where there are other people and wait for the police if necessary.

Advertisements

This next step applies only if escape is impossible:

1) Be aggressive! If someone has cornered you or is threatening you with violence, don’t hold back – stand up for yourself! Make noise by kicking, stomping, screaming, whatever it takes to get the attention of others around you (or at least let him/her know that you won’t be an easy target). Your safety is more important than worrying about what others think of you yelling in public. They probably already think you’re some helpless victim anyway, so what do you have to lose?

Advertisements

2) If you feel like the attacker is getting ready to hit or stab you, then it’s time to defend yourself. Make sure that he/she knows that this is not going over well with you and make them think twice about whether their actions will be worth any consequences they might face – such as legal problems, lawsuits etc… The best way to do this would be a physical attack of your own like pushing, punching (though this could get you into trouble), scratching and even biting (this shouldn’t draw blood).

There are three reasons for doing this:

  • It will throw him off guard
  • It will let him know he won’t just get away with whatever he has planned, and
  • It shows that you are not weak (in some cases, it could be worth your while to make him think this). No one wants to hit or stab a person who fights back.
Advertisements

You might feel like you’re overreacting because you’re afraid, but remember that feeling is there for a good reason! If you stay passive, then the threat still exists and will continue to grow if nothing changes. You can’t just allow someone else to mace, knife, shoot or beat you up – stand up for yourself!

These tips should help you figure out how to stand up for yourself but keep in mind that there are other things involved… such as learning what triggers certain feelings so they don’t escalate into something more dangerous, learning self-defense techniques and looking out for the signs of a potentially violent situation.

How To Deal With A Bully

Bullying is a touchy subject for many people. I am not talking about the kid on your street corner calling you names. I am instead referring to something much more serious, like cyberbullying or physical bullying (poking, pushing, etc.).

Advertisements

First Step

The first way to deal with bullies is to tell an adult. This can be a relative, friend, teacher, or even the principal of your school. If these adults don’t do anything to stop the bully from his/her antics, this will certainly not help matters.

Another way to deal with bullies is to stand up for yourself and fight back! Don’t let them push you around and intimidate you. Stand up to them and tell them they’re wrong.

Advertisements

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking:

What good will that do? The bully is just going to push around someone else! That’s true. But then again, the bully might stop picking on you and start picking on someone who isn’t so outspoken about it! Also, if a bully realizes that you aren’t going to be a push-over, he/she may think twice about picking on you again.

Now, here’s the real secret:

Guys and girls don’t tend to really fight back against bullies. Instead, they talk behind the bully’s back, run away from the situation, or ignore the bully altogether. All of this just makes the bullying worse, especially if the bully sees that s/he can get away with it because nobody will confront her or him.

And don’t worry… If you tell an adult about something like this, they won’t be mad at you for fighting back! They’ll instead try to deal with the bully(s) too.

Advertisements

One more thing to remember:

If you’re being bullied, it’s important not to blame yourself for what is happening to you. Sometimes bullies are just mean because they have no friends or something like that. It’s not your fault!

So now that you know how to deal with a bully, let’s look at some examples.

Example #1: You are walking to school, and a bully approaches you… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d tell the girl or guy that they’re being mean. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll stand up for myself and start standing up for myself. I’ll yell back and tell her or him that they’re not going to push me around anymore!

Advertisements

Example #2: A bully is bothering you at school… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d talk to the principal of my school about it. If the principal doesn’t do anything about it, then I’ll tell my teacher. If talking to the teachers won’t make the bullying stop, I’ll find someone who can protect me (they could be another adult, like a police officer).

Example #3: The bully is being mean online… What do you do?

One thing you could do is ignore the bully altogether. If the person doesn’t stop after a while, then I’d block them so they can’t contact you anymore.

Advertisements

Example #4: A friend of yours is being bullied… What do you do?

If your friend isn’t confronting the bullies, then they’ll probably appreciate you if you do so for them. If your friend does confront the bully, sometimes the results can be bad.

Example #5: A bully is bothering you at school… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d talk to the principal of my school about it. If the principal doesn’t do anything about it, then I’d tell my teacher. If talking to the teachers won’t make the bullying stop, I’ll find someone who can protect me (they could be another adult, like a police officer).

Another thing you could do is find out if there are any other victims. If there are, maybe you can all confront the bully together!

Advertisements
One more thing…

Sometimes bullies will back down if confronted, and they realize that their bullying is not working. They might even realize that what they’re doing is wrong and apologize to the person(s) they bullied. If this doesn’t happen, or if the bully starts to apologize only to turn around and bully other children, then seek out an adult for help.

Lastly…

If you are being bullied, don’t blame yourself! It’s not your fault… Sometimes bullies pick on people who are too shy or scared to stand up for themselves.

Advertisements

If you think that someone close to you might be a victim of bullying, it’s good to talk to them about the above information. Create a plan together! You can also ask others if they have been bullied or know anyone who has been bullied and see what methods worked best for them.

For example, maybe having one friend with you when confronting the bully will make him/her back down—or maybe blocking the bully’s phone number/email/etc. It makes him/her back down if he/she is being mean online.

Remember that there are lots of ways of dealing with bullies! Be creative, too – you don’t have to use all of the above methods… Maybe you can come up with something that works just as well or better!

Advertisements

And if that doesn’t work, there are many other solutions. If one method seems to not be working, try another method, do something different entirely… But remember, you have the RIGHT to stand up for yourself. You have the right to say “no.” You have the right to defend yourself against threats and violence. And you have the right to get help from someone who can protect you if needed.

But remember, even though bullies are wrong, being mean doesn’t feel good either! Even if you’re angry or upset, don’t take your anger out on someone else! If standing up for yourself is hard, then maybe try writing things down or drawing things out to help you feel better.

Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels.com

I hope this information helps you deal with bullies!

You can also seek other methods of dealing with bullying by talking to an adult, looking online, asking your friends… Be creative, and don’t be afraid to try new things! But whatever happens… Hopefully, the bullying will stop soon. And hopefully, you’ll be able to find a way to protect yourself!

Remember, don’t blame yourself for the bullying, and remember that it is never your fault. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the bully’s problems. You have every right to defend yourself and stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid – you can do it! You can find a way to bully-proof yourself and protect yourself. And you can also try to make the world a better place by sharing your knowledge with others like I’m doing now 🙂 Might as well have a little fun while spreading kindness 😀

I hope this information helps you deal with bullies! Remember that there are lots of ways to deal with bullies, so whatever method works best for you, go for it! But remember, even if the bullying doesn’t stop, don’t blame yourself… It’s not your fault. And you can build up your strength and courage by helping others with their problems.

But whether or not the bullying stops – thank you for reading. And I hope you’re doing well 🙂

What Exactly Is A Bully?

Bullying

Advertisements

Bullying has become a very serious problem in today’s society. While Bullying is usually associated with the stigma of schoolchildren, it can happen at any age and in all sorts of situations. The following article will aim to explain the definition, causes, consequences, and methods to curb bullies.

One should begin by defining what exactly is meant by the word bully. Merriam-Webster defines a bully as “a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.” Thus, Bullying can be defined as repeated acts of intimidation intended to create feelings of discomfort in the victim. A bully may not necessarily threaten his or her victim but typically uses coercion to accomplish the goal of intimidation.

Advertisements

Bullying is a worldwide issue that affects millions of children and adults in some way. According to stopbullying.gov, “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” This definition explains that Bullying is a regular occurrence between individuals of different ages and typically involves aggravating another individual on a regular basis. 

Bullies tend to have specific traits in common. According to an article published by Psychology Today, “Bully victims are more likely to be physically weaker than their tormentors, a new study of U.S. Army soldiers shows, providing the first evidence that physical size may factor into children’s risk for being bullied.” In addition, bullies typically have some sort of charisma or charm that makes them difficult to confront.

Advertisements

Another major cause of Bullying is social media. Social media websites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are ideal platforms for bullies. Websites like these give bullies the ability to anonymously target their victims without fear of being reprimanded. Social media can also be used in harmful ways to demoralize others, even when the victim is not present. Cyberbullying is defined by stopbullying.gov as “the use of computers, cell phones, and other devices to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.” Cyberbullying can happen at any time during the day. As a result of this ease in which information is spread, cyberbullying has become extremely common.

Advertisements

The consequences that come with Bullying can be extremely severe. According to stopbullying.gov, “A lot of Bullying takes place outside the view of adults and often goes unreported. Kids who are bullied are more likely to have health complaints. They may have headaches or a loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy.” In addition, victims of bullies frequently suffer from depression and anxiety. According to the article from Psychology Today, “In follow-up questionnaires administered three months later, the victims reported an average of almost two additional symptoms of anxiety and depression—and their mental health problems were rated as being more severe.” In some extreme cases, Bullying can result in death. According to stopbullying.gov, “Suicide was the third leading cause of death amongst young people ages 10–24 in 2012.”

Finally, there are several methods to curb Bullying. The most obvious is reporting the bullies to a teacher or authority figure. In addition, you can spread awareness by informing others of what Bullying is and how it affects its victims. A simple conversation can motivate others to take a stand against bullies.

Photo by Valeriia Miller on Pexels.com

In Conclusion

Bullying is a major issue that affects millions of people worldwide. Bullying consists of acts of intimidation intended to create feelings of discomfort in the victim. Individuals who bully typically have specific traits in common and often use social media as a means to demoralize their victims. Consequences for bullying victims can be extremely severe, in some cases resulting in death. There are several methods to curb Bullying, but the most effective way is getting other individuals to take a stand against it. 

Is It Fair To Expect Neurotypicals To Understand Neurodivergents?

The Current Situation

Neurodivergence is a blanket term for a neurological condition that causes deviations from the norms of typical behavior. Neurotypical refers to someone who behaves in accordance with these norms, and this is how they are defined throughout the remainder of the article.

Advertisements

Whether it’s autism, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), neurodiversity should be embraced by all people, including those who are neurotypical. It is important for society to recognize the differences between each individual and allow everyone to contribute in a way that they can and want to.

However, it appears that this respect isn’t returned by all neurotypicals. There are loads of examples that show neurodivergent being treated poorly by their peers, from the pillorying of Steve Silberman to the mocking of a man with autism at a Donald Trump rally.

Advertisements

Neurodiversity is a condition that many people have and do not choose. This is often the case with neurotypicals as well; many of them have conditions or disorders that they do not choose. Employers don’t hire people because of dyslexia, diabetes, depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, etc.

Yet, these are conditions that society would never be able to function without – it would be a bleak and empty world if everyone was neurotypical. This is why it’s incredibly difficult for those with these conditions to live functional lives, as many of them face struggles every day that the average person does not fathom. It requires a greater degree of empathy than society as a whole has been able to give thus far.

Advertisements

The pillorying of Silberman is a good example of the lack of empathy within a neurotypical society. Steve Silberman has Asperger syndrome. Asperger’s is not typically something that would be obvious to someone who doesn’t know him, and if it were, they probably wouldn’t care. However, he is a bestselling author who has written a novel called Neurotribes, which explores the condition and the responsibility that we have as a society to accommodate those with autism. When it won awards, many neurotypicals jumped on the bandwagon of shaming him, accusing him of self-congratulation, self-pity, name-dropping, and only writing his book because of his own self-interest. It was beyond ridiculous, and their responses to him were heartless and cruel.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com
Advertisements

One man even said that Silberman should be sterilized, which is an absolutely horrendous thing to say about anyone, let alone someone who has dedicated much of their life to neurodiversity. This is not the only example of this kind of behavior; there are hundreds, if not thousands, of more accounts of neurotypicals bullying those with autism.

The amount of disrespect shown by these people is astounding. Neurodiversity affects every single person on this planet, and yet these people feel like they can bully someone who has it without suffering any repercussions. They feel that they can mock someone with autism at a Donald Trump rally, not realizing that this is exactly the kind of behavior that leads to fascist sentiment taking over politics. It’s despicable and insulting – it should be treated as such by society as a whole.

Advertisements

Society needs to give Neurodivergents the respect that they deserve and to stop shaming them for their conditions. Not only this, but we need to recognize how these conditions can be detrimental to their lives and open our minds to personal growth so we can adapt to neurodivergent people – who we will most likely meet in our lifetime.

Conclusion

Society has the ability to be accepting and inclusive. However, it is clear that they need to adapt more in order to accommodate Neurodivergents in today’s society.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Thank You And You’re Welcome In My Autistic Spectrum Life

Dear New Followers

This is just a humble thank you from me to you…

My journey on the spectrum has been an adventure so far, even though I only found out last year that I have been stumbling in the dark for 42 years. I am still learning about the Neurotypical perception of autism and ADHD and OCPD, which they write about in their books and papers. It does not influence me at all because I have lived ‘it’ since day 1.

I only visit Normal…

OCPD Much? 12 Things You Can Do To Relax

What You Can Do To Relax When You Have OCPD

People with personality disorders like Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) often experience anxiety and stress, which makes relaxing difficult. Here is a list of ways to relax when you have OCPD:

1. Breathe deeply and slowly

Advertisements

Breathing deeply and slowly will help calm your body down. If you’re anxious, that’s probably because you’ve been breathing quickly or shallowly. Slowing down your breath will slow your heart rate and increase the calming effect on your whole system. If possible, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. This will maximize the amount of oxygen getting into your system while releasing carbon dioxide at the same time: something we don’t want.

2. Drink some water

Advertisements

Water is the best beverage, and it’s also good for you if you’re feeling stressed out and tired. Why? It has no calories and has been shown to calm anxiety and stress in various studies. Studies show that healthy people who drank two cups of water instead of a caffeinated drink experienced brain function similar to someone at rest compared to when they drank the caffeine drink.

3. Get some sun on your skin

Stress can cause your blood pressure to rise, so getting the sun on your skin will help lower it again. You don’t need to tan or burn yourself; just go outside during daylight hours for 10-20 minutes. If you have dark skin, more time is needed. Get the sun on your skin and let your body start to relax.

4. Take a hot bath or shower

Advertisements

Taking a nice hot bath is one of the most pleasant ways to relax. It’s even better if you add bubbles, salts, and oils to your bathwater. Taking a shower can be just as relaxing if it includes some warm water and steamy air. You don’t need any added extras: just warm water and steam will do the trick!

5. Listen to some music

The right kind of music at the right volume can help you relax when you’re feeling stressed out or anxious about something in your life. If possible, turn off all non-essential lights in the room where you’ll be listening to music so that the room is fully dark. Relaxing music can be instrumental or have some soft vocals included, but it should not be a song with a strong beat or lyrics that will get stuck in your head and interfere with letting go of stress.

6. Have a massage

Advertisements

Massage has been used throughout history to relax tense muscles and minds alike. If you can afford it, consider booking an appointment at a nearby spa where they offer massages for patrons. You’ll need to do this well in advance, though, as spas are often busy and appointments fill up fast! In lieu of going to a spa, you might also consider asking someone else if they’re willing to give you a neck/back/foot rub.

7. Exercise

Exercise is a great way to get your body in shape and can also be used when you’re feeling anxious and stressed out. Try going for a brisk walk in the morning if possible: not only will it help you physically, but it’ll help you mentally by giving you an outlet for all that extra energy and stress. If walking isn’t your thing, think about other forms of exercise like biking or jogging instead. The key is simply to find something relatively active (including strenuous sports like rock climbing) and do it often enough to make sure you stay fit.

8. Talk to someone

Advertisements

Talking about your problems can help ease anxiety, stress, and sadness caused by them. Not only does talking take away some of the burdens from carrying around stress, but it provides you with an outlet for all your pent-up worries and can help you come up with solutions to the issues that are causing the stress in the first place. You don’t necessarily need to talk to someone you know personally either: it could be a friend or family member that’s willing to lend an ear (or a voice on the other side of a phone line) when you’re feeling stressed out about something.

9. Engage in some mindfulness practice

Advertisements

Mindfulness is being consciously aware of what’s going on around you and within yourself while keeping your emotions in check throughout. It’s been shown to have positive effects on anxiety and depression so try setting aside 10 minutes a day where you sit or lie down somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. If any thoughts enter your mind about the stress you’re feeling, try to think about them without attaching too much importance or worrying about them. Eventually, you’ll start to feel more relaxed as the practice gets easier over time.

10. Get outside for some fresh air

Advertisements

Stress can cause certain smells to be extra intense than they usually are, which could make you feel even more stressed out depending on how sensitive your sense of smell is. Getting outdoors where there aren’t any strong smells can help keep that anxiety under control until it subsides naturally. Plus, getting outside in the sun (see #3) at least briefly will help boost mood and increase vitamin D levels if taken advantage of!  

11. Have a cup of tea

Advertisements

An age-old method for relaxation is to unwind with a warm beverage: it’s comfortable and cozy and can also help soothe stress and anxiety if you find the right kind of tea. If possible, avoid caffeine as it’ll keep you keyed up, but try herbal teas like chamomile or green tea instead (both contain antioxidants that may reduce anxiety). You might even consider trying some other low-risk ways to de-stress around your house, such as soaking in a hot bath with soothing bath salts, lighting candles around the room, watching TV before bed (but not when you’re stressed out), etc.

12. Learn how to meditate

Meditation is another way to get the relaxation you need without relying on anything else. It can take some time and dedication, but it’s a completely natural way to find peace and reduce the stress that doesn’t put any additional undue strain on your body. If you’re up for learning how to meditate properly, it should be relatively easy to find guided meditation videos/audios online: just search “guided meditation” together with whatever other keywords might be relevant (e.g., anxiety, sleep, etc.) in order to narrow down your results.