10 Tips on how to prevent Burnout

    It’s no secret that many people burn out

    We do so much and we give so much of ourselves to the things that we care about, yet when it comes time for us to be given our reward or when we look back on what we’ve done, nobody knows who we are. Nobody cares, and often times even worse, they don’t even notice what it is that we’ve done.


    However, the reward of feeling like you’re making a difference in this world is often enough to keep us going. If you want to continue doing things that are meaningful or if you simply want to avoid getting burned out, here are some things that may help:

    1. Take a break


    If you’ve been working on a project for a few hours, take a small break and come back to it after 5-10 minutes. Often times when we get stuck or have some sort of problem that causes resistance in our work, stepping away from the situation for just five minutes can be enough to allow us to come at it from a fresh perspective and find a solution.

    2. Make a list of three things that you’re grateful for before going to bed each night


    The more we focus on all the negative things in our lives, the less energy we have to put into our work or the tasks that matter most. By taking just a few minutes each night before going to bed, we can force ourselves to see that there are good things in our lives. At the very least, if nothing else, making a list of three things that you’re grateful for will push negativity out of your mind for at least a little while.

    3. Change your environment


    If you’ve been doing the same thing for too long, change your environment before you go crazy. Sometimes it’s enough to simply move locations, whether this means getting up and walking across the room or going all-out by moving into a new house or apartment.

    Try to look for something that will allow you to see life from a different perspective. If there are certain people who are affecting you negatively, try spending time with different friends. If you’ve been working the same job for too long, try taking on a new project or learning something entirely new that does not involve your previous work.

    4. Do something that scares you


    Instead of focusing all your energy into one thing, like climbing a mountain or learning a new instrument, focus it into a dozen or so different things. By doing this, there is far less risk that you will burn out because you are constantly learning new things and exploring new territory without focusing all of your energy into one thing at a time.

    5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks


    If you’re an entrepreneur, don’t be afraid to pay for some help. If you’ve been doing the same tasks over and over again, chances are that somebody out there has already created a way to do it better than you can yourself. Just because you’re trying to save money doesn’t mean that you can’t hire somebody else to do some of these tasks.

    6. Enjoy your down time


    People burn out because they spend too much of their time working and not enough of it relaxing. Don’t fall into this trap. Make sure you spend at least some time every week doing something completely unrelated to your work, whether this means reading a book, watching some TV or even just taking a walk around the neighborhood. If you spend enough time doing this, you’ll be able to come back to your work refreshed and ready to tackle it with new vigor.

    7. Stop trying to multitask


    If you’re constantly checking your email while working on another project, chances are that you’ll end up getting far less done than if you were simply focusing all of your attention on just one task. While there are some people who can successfully multitask, most find that they get far more done when they simply focus all their attention onto one thing at a time.

    8. Take regular breaks throughout the day


    It’s normal for us to take frequent breaks while working on something or even watching TV, but most of us fail to realize that taking breaks while working is just as important. Without regular breaks, your mind will become tired and you’ll be more likely to make mistakes.

    9. Remember that there’s only so much you can do in one day


    It’s easy to get overwhelmed when we look at how much work we have left to do. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, remind yourself that there’s only so many hours in one day and you can only get done what you’re capable of getting done.

    10. Learn how to say “no”


    There are few things more effective for preventing burnout than simply learning how to say “no”. Without this ability, you’ll find yourself constantly taking on one project after another and, before you know it, your work will begin piling up to the point where you can no longer handle everything. Don’t be afraid to turn down a project if it’s going to cause you to overwork yourself or if it isn’t going well.

Day 12 post failed suicide attempt – How I made money


I wake up. Nurse takes my blood pressure.



I get dressed and make myself a cup of coffee. The Psychiatrist will only arrive at 10:00 so I decide to sit and review my career path. How did I make money?

Where did money come from?

The Origin of Money[ii]

There are three major theories regarding the origin of money:-

1 Money was created for trading purposes;

2 Money was created for social purposes;

3 Money was created for religious purposes.


What is money?

Characteristics of Money

Money has three characteristics according to the economists:-

1 Means of Payment;

2 Unit of Account;

3 Store of Value.


What is money really?

Money exists not by nature but by law[ix]

Aristotle, Greek Philosopher (384 BC – 322 BC)

Clearly in the 4th century BC, almost 2,500 years ago, Aristotle understood the nature of money. Money is not a commodity that is to be mined like gold or silver. Money is not a commodity to be farmed like wheat or barley. Money is not an animal like a cow or a goat. The nature of money is that it is a legal invention. Money is a creature of the law. The Greek name for money is ‘nomisma’, which is derived from ‘nomos’ meaning law or binding custom. Aristotle defined money as an abstract legal power, publicly controlled for the common good.


MY so-called CAREER


I have been working for just over 2 decades. I earned salaries and I followed the ‘normal’ path of the Consumer and I bought stuff. It was always confusing to me to figure out what money is and what it does. It confuses me?!


I understand bartering, I also understand that when you create something you get rewarded for your time and effort, which kind of determines the value of said creation.

What I struggle with is that a Seller and a Buyer can decide what the ‘price’ is of anything they wish to transact over. So, to me, the price is not at all tied to the value, because it is subjective.

That’s how I figured out that my intrinsic value is not the same to two different employers. One may want to pay me $1000 per week and the other $2000 per week.

It depends on how much my skill set can help him increase the value of his offering and his ability to get a good price when selling it. I am just a product to my employer, and when I start asking for more money, he can just say no and if I then resign he can just replace me. I do not resign because my life has been set up in such a way that I need the salary to support my life, which I set up. So now I stay in a miserable job and I never get the salary I think I’m worth.


Things are about to change:

Now that I have been given the gift of knowing how my mind works, I can figure out how to be more valuable and how to earn more money on my terms aligned with how much I value myself. I am a problem solver by nature and I just need to find a problem I can solve. Not just for one person, but for everyone.

I have been in the wrong positions my entire life!


The Psychiatrist arrives and we discuss my epiphany regarding how strange money is to me. He advises me that people with my condition sometimes struggle with the concept and need help to assist them with realizing their potential. He confirms that I look rested, energized and focused today. Nice…

He leaves and I have a cup of tea.


The Psychologist arrives at 14:00 and we discuss money and employment and careers. He pointed out that I need to really take a look at where I am now in life and decide whether it would be mentally stimulating to continue with my current career path. He also stated that it gets more difficult to change your career the older you get. Well, I feel very ‘young’ now that my new life has begun, so I will go and think about my strategy to either remain at the company I am working at right now, or to decide on a new path.

Our session ends and he leaves.


Shower and coffee again.

“What am I doing with my life?” I think.

I need to start making money based on my value and skill set, not according to someone else’s value they assign to what I bring to the table, which is just modern slavery I guess.


I start to read up on ‘How to make money’, ‘How to make money online’ and ‘Work from home’.

Wow, what a lot of false claims and smoke and mirrors and illusions and delusions of grandeur. And what on earth is Bitcoin?

I give up and decide to get some rest.

I take my medication, get into bed and think: “How do other people make money? Who will help me to make money?”

And I drift into darkness…

Help me tell my Failed Suicide story by funding my book! – Please share

“If you are at the bottom, everything overwhelms you because you are damn near dead. Everything should overwhelm you because you have no extra resources. Any more threat and you’re sunk so you become extremely sensitive to negative emotion and perhaps become impulsive.”

In life, as you go up the status ladder you become less sensitive and you can focus more on a long term future.
What can you do to move up dominance hierarchy then?

Go into your imagination. You find the great archetypes that guide human nature.

Who should lead, what should rule? What should be at the top?

Speech and vision, and the willingness to confront the terrible unknown.

“What do you want to be king of?

How about: Your heroic willingness to encounter the unknown and articulate it and share it with people. There is no nobler vision than that.

Dr Jordan B Peterson

If you would like to be part of the kind group of people who want to help me articulate and share my story, please click on the GoGetFunding link on the top and donate to my campaign 🙂

If you can’t then please consider sharing or re-posting to your Blog, thanks!

Day 8 post failed suicide attempt – Autistic Burnout



Nurse takes blood pressure. Inspects the wound on my wrist, stitches can be removed in the next day or two. Healing very well.



Wait for Psychiatrist…


He arrives at 9:00 and we start talking in a very relaxed manner. He looks calmer than in the previous sessions. He is as tall as I am and today he is wearing casual wear. It adds to the relaxed environment. He even smiles a bit. I feel like he is actually onto something and I start to feel a bit of hope spring up inside me.

He starts asking me about the feelings I experienced just before I tried to commit suicide (and I didn’t want to kill myself).

I explained it like this:

I was always aware of extreme pressure in my life. Mentally, emotionally and physically. Life was always tough. I remember the day my body drove me out to the mountains and tried to kill me, that I felt exhausted. I felt empty. I needed rest. I needed sleep. I felt that I have reached the end of what was possible to give in this life. My life-force has been drained. My ‘chi’ was disappearing. I felt that this wonderful scary adventure called life has come to an end. I was done…

He looked at me with a little bit of a smile and said I experienced autistic burnout. I literally lived my life to the fullest and I drained every last drop out of every facet of my life, and the suicide attempt was me trying to end me because I had nothing left to give. I spent it all.


He complimented me on my self awareness and my ability to communicate extremely well in describing exactly what transpired. He started explaining to me that people with autism build a public persona to mask their condition, in order to be able to function in society. This masking or camouflaging is extremely taxing on your resources: spiritually, mentally and physically. He explained that my unique, complex condition fascinated him. Apparently people with my condition and the co-morbid ADHD and OCPD (OCD) and depression, usually attempt suicide at 15. I managed to fight off this dragon of death until I was in my early forties! I started building an entire personality with this masking technique and drifted away from my own core. I also started developing a third entity when I drank alcohol, a kind of a man-child if you will. The rebel, the risk taker, the instigator, the reckless, the dangerous one. He suspects that my true self, and the other two were at loggerheads and tried to ‘take over’ the executive functioning, I was about to split! After the battle for my soul, one of those three survived, and he suspects it is the true me.

He asked me to read up on Autistic Burnout and see if I can recognize myself in some of the literature.

He double checked on my prescription and told the nurse that I can stop taking the heavy sleeping pills. He prescribed an anti-psychotic which would assist me with falling asleep at night. We’ll try it, I thought. He greeted me and left.



I spent the afternoon reading about Autistic Burnout

‘Autistic burnout’ is the intense physical, mental or emotional exhaustion, often accompanied by a loss of skills, that some adults with autism experience. Many autistic people say it results mainly from the cumulative effect of having to navigate a world that is designed for neurotypical people.

Burnout may especially affect autistic adults who have strong cognitive and language abilities and are working or going to school with neurotypical people.

Like many aspects of autism, burnout varies greatly from person to person. Some autistic people experience it as an overwhelming sense of physical exhaustion. They may have more difficulty managing their emotions than usual and be prone to outbursts of sadness or anger. Burnout may manifest as intense anxiety or contribute to depression or suicidal behavior.


Well, that explains a lot!

I read and read and read and read…




I read more and more and more and more!

Finally I felt like the past started to make sense, I kind of started to see why he had that look on his face, like he thinks I need to put my own puzzle together and he just handed me the last piece.

I had tea.

Took my medication, and for the first time felt that this day was well spent, and eventually I drifted away…

Day 7 post failed suicide attempt – roommates of a High-functioning Autistic Savant


Nurse take blood pressure.





Nurse informs me that the Psychiatrist will only visit later that morning so I decide to take stock of the first week in this very interesting place called: Psychiatric Hospital.

The 3 gentlemen sharing my room with me has different reasons why they find themselves in this place.

Guy 1: Mid-thirties. I noticed him first when I entered the room last Sunday. Quiet, reserved, mentally occupied, does not make eye contact, watches movies on his laptop the entire time. I overheard people talking about him during meals, apparently he lost his wife recently and struggled to cope with the loss. He is being treated for depression and is receiving trauma counseling. When people die it is tough for the ones left behind…


Guy 2: Sixties. Grey, skinny, odd demeanor like an apologetic state of being. He is addicted to pain killers and has dementia. Keeps on packing his suitcase and heads toward the front door to go home. No idea why he is there. Its his last day today, he is going to stay at his daughter’s place according to the nurse.


Guy 3: Early twenties. Oily hair, smells like an ashtray, curses a lot, talks non-stop. He has multiple cuts on his forearms – self inflicted. He has ADHD and depression and is an alcoholic. He cuts himself to ‘feel’ something. His family is rich and his mom phones him twice a day. He told us all his life story, a couple of times. He seems to think being a rebel and a rule-breaker is something to boast about.

I wonder what they think when they look at me?

Suicide Guy: quiet, talks to no-one, reads all the time, eats alone, no eye contact, no interaction with anyone, does not attend group sessions, does not attend arts & craft sessions, never attend the support group chats, seems preoccupied, makes his bed even when the nurse tells him that he doesn’t have to, keeps his area neat and clean, keeps himself neat and clean.



The Psychiatrist meets me just after lunch. We start talking about how I feel with the medication. I confirm that there is less darkness and heaviness in my mind. I love being able to focus during the day. I do not feel tired.

He asks me about an observation the Psychologist made: I present with signs of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Would I mind to read up on it and tell him next day if I recognize myself?

I accept and he leaves.



The Psychologist arrives. We start talking about my adult life. I was married twice, got divorced twice, I have 2 daughters – one with each of my previous wives. I have a neutral relationship with both exes, which serves in the best interest of my daughters. I am a great dad. I have worked in various industries. I have lived in more that 60 houses over 4 decades. I have lost a lot of money and I have made a lot of money. I have been rich and I have been poor. I have no friends, but I am always the life of a party at work. We talk about Borderline Personality Disorder. I still don’t see it. I have a very stoic outlook on life, and optimistic and zen. I am well spoken and have a rather high intellect. I am extremely creative but also very analytical. I am complex. He says I should take the next day off and not think about anything that happened recently.

He leaves and I have a cup of coffee.

I take my medicine and wait to fall asleep.

Take the day off? What does he mean? And as I try to overthink and over-analyze what he said I fall into a deep sleep….

Day 5 post failed suicide attempt – Ritalin to assist with High-functioning Autistic Savant Syndrome


Rise against the dying of the light…

On the 5th day in the Psychiatric Hospital I was about to test medication called Ritalin.


Ritalin (methylphenidate) is a nervous system stimulant that’s commonly used to treat ADHD in adults and children.

It’s a brand-name prescription medication that targets dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain to reduce common ADHD symptoms.

Though Ritalin is a stimulant, when used in ADHD treatment, it may help with concentration, fidgeting, attention, and listening skills.


I have been using 4 types of medication during my stay at the Hospital up to now, so this will be number 5:

  1. Sleeping pills (strong)
  2. Anti-depressant
  3. Anti-psychotic
  4. Painkillers (strong)
  5. Ritalin (New!)

The Psychiatrist instructed the nurse to give me the fast acting Ritalin just after breakfast and I had to pay attention (no pun intended) to what effects I felt. Did I feel anything different?


Lance Armstrong used performance enhancers in his quest to win the Tour de France 7 times. He still had to train extremely hard, and the stuff he took merely ‘enhanced’ his performance.

Ritalin was the performance enhancer I never knew I always needed. Now, I have always been a very perceptive person:

  • I would memorize everything, everywhere, constantly.
  • I would use ALL my senses to navigate through the world.
  • I would be on high alert every waking moment.
  • I would think, over-think, analyze and over-analyze everything.
  • I would asses and scrutinize small changes in mood, facial expression, body language and eye-movement when I was having a conversation, trying to figure out what the person’s intentions were in order to act appropriately on all the social cues I had to map and adhere to in order not to stand out.
  • I would start to anticipate people’s next moves, or next words or next thoughts to such a point where people became predictable in their behavior.
  • All of this DRAINED me mentally and emotionally…

Which led to my Autistic burnout and an attempt on my life by myself…


The strange thing is I was under the impression that everyone did this in their minds. The Psychiatrist assured me that none of the normal people did this. I was surprised…

So when the Ritalin started to take effect I felt an immediate sense of relief. I had a calm mind, I had a focused mind, I felt stable, I enjoyed the intensity of my mental application. The dedicated focus and the control I had over my thoughts. Ritalin changed my Life!!!

I was on top of the world!!!!!!!!!!

Day 4 post failed suicide attempt – Autistic Savant syndrome


I wake up the same way as the previous day, nurse taking blood pressure, breakfast, medication, shower, get dressed, wait for the Psychiatrist.


I do not join the group activity in the hospital, neither do I partake in the arts and crafts sessions. I don’t feel like engaging with the other patients…

The nurse calls me and let’s me know that the Psychologist is here to see me. Okay, well, let’s take a look see, he may be able to assist me with all the new terminology and conditions and symptoms they seem to identify in me. Autism, ADHD, Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.


I sit down in the consultation room and we start talking. He asks me the usual questions:

  • How are you feeling today?
  • Did you sleep well?
  • Are you eating okay?
  • How is the wound on your wrist?
  • How are you feeling about Borderline Personality Disorder?
  • How are you feeling about Depression?
  • How are you feeling about ADHD?
  • How are you feeling about Autism?
  • How do feel about how you feel?


With all due respect, I really do not see where any of this is going? I appreciate what Psychologists do to help other people but it is as if I just don’t connect with this guy. He keeps on trying to be my friend. Making jokes, trying to get into my world and sharing similar thoughts and experiences from his own life to make me feel we have something in common. I’ve read everything online about the so-called Borderline Personality Disorder he thinks I present with and I just don’t see it…


He’s next question got me thinking though…

‘What did the Psychiatrist say about my suspicion that you present with BPD?” he asks.

‘Nothing.’ I reply, and I watch his face. He seems disappointed. He dropped his shoulders a bit, even leaned forward slightly in a kind of a slouch. His eyes drifted towards the carpet and he held his breath for 2 seconds, as if he wanted to say something, but then decided against it and exhaled.

I got the distinct feeling that he wanted validation from the Psychiatrist rather than trying to figure out why I tried to commit suicide. This struck me as odd.

He started to explain to me that humans are like computers and that the Psychiatrist focused on the hardware and he focused on the software.

I nodded and after a minute or two our session was over for that morning.

‘I’ll see you again tonight and then we’ll chat about your childhood.’ he smiled.

‘Sure, let’s…’ I replied.



I had lunch. Alone. Not keen to engage with the other patients, my head felt pre-occupied.

The Psychiatrist visited just after dinner. I told him about my session with the Psychologist and he made a couple of notes on my file. He looked at me and said:’ I want to ask you if you are willing to try Ritalin tomorrow morning, just to see what happens with your thoughts and how you feel. Would you do that for me?’.

I agreed and he left.


I went to take a shower, and made myself some coffee when the Psychologist arrived.

I took my coffee with me into the consultation room. He asked me to tell him about the first 10 years of my life.

I took a sip of my coffee, thought for a minute on where to start and laid out the first 10 years of my life in extreme detail with vivid memory and recollection of sounds and tastes and events and specifics. I painted a great picture of this narrative: The history of my Life.

He listened and made very little comments, he wrote some notes and thanked me after 30 mins of me and my soliloquy.

I took my medication and I fell into a deep sleep…

Day 3 post failed suicide attempt – High-Functioning Autistic Savant syndrome


5:00am on a Tuesday

I wake up with the request from the nurse, who entered our room, to sit up and have my blood pressure monitored. She asks about my pain and for a moment I forgot what she was referring to…


Oh, yes, now I recall…the scar on my wrist. I received 11 stitches for the self-inflicted deep tissue damage I have done with my pocket knife with the serrated blade.

‘I am okay, thanks, it doesn’t hurt that much.’ I say in my croaky morning voice.


It was my second night of well deserved rest. I have never slept more than 4 hours a night my entire life.

I get up, have breakfast, take a shower and wait for my appointment with the Psychiatrist to talk about my situation.

After a cup of coffee the nurse informs that he is waiting for me in the consultation room and I finish my coffee before I enter the room. I felt it was the polite thing to do.

We did not share any small talk, and he started asking questions: ‘Tell me, did you read up on Autism as we discussed?’.

I confirm and he doesn’t say anything. I look at his face and I look at his hands and I look at his body language and I gather that he is probably waiting for me to elaborate.


I recite what I have read the day before:

What Is Autism?

Autism, also called autism spectrum disorder (ASD), is a complicated condition that includes problems with communication and behavior. It can involve a wide range of symptoms and skills. ASD can be a minor problem or a disability that needs full-time care in a special facility.

People with autism have trouble with communication. They have trouble understanding what other people think and feel. This makes it hard for them to express themselves, either with words or through gestures, facial expressions, and touch.

People with autism might have problems with learning. Their skills might develop unevenly. For example, they could have trouble communicating but be unusually good at art, music, math, or memory. Because of this, they might do especially well on tests of analysis or problem-solving.

More children are diagnosed with autism now than ever before. But the latest numbers could be higher because of changes in how it’s diagnosed, not because more children have a disorder.


Autism Signs and Symptoms

Symptoms of autism usually appear before a child turns 3. Some people show signs from birth.

Common symptoms of autism include:

  • A lack of eye contact
  • A narrow range of interests or intense interest in certain topics
  • Doing something over and over, like repeating words or phrases, rocking back and forth, or flipping a lever
  • High sensitivity to sounds, touches, smells, or sights that seem ordinary to other people
  • Not looking at or listening to other people
  • Not looking at things when another person points at them
  • Not wanting to be held or cuddled
  • Problems understanding or using speech, gestures, facial expressions, or tone of voice
  • Talking in a sing-song, flat, or robotic voice
  • Trouble adapting to changes in routine

Some children with autism may also have seizures. These might not start until adolescence.


Autism Spectrum Disorders

These types were once thought to be separate conditions. Now, they fall under the range of autism spectrum disorders. They include:

  • Asperger’s syndrome. These children don’t have a problem with language; in fact, they tend to score in the average or above-average range on intelligence tests. But they have social problems and a narrow scope of interests.
  • Autistic disorder. This is what most people think of when they hear the word “autism.” It refers to problems with social interactions, communication, and play in children younger than 3 years.
  • Childhood disintegrative disorder. These children have typical development for at least 2 years and then lose some or most of their communication and social skills.
  • Pervasive developmental disorder (PDD or atypical autism). Your doctor might use this term if your child has some autistic behavior, like delays in social and communications skills, but doesn’t fit into another category.


Autism Causes

Exactly why autism happens isn’t clear. It could stem from problems in parts of your brain that interpret sensory input and process language.

Autism is four times more common in boys than in girls. It can happen in people of any race, ethnicity, or social background. Family income, lifestyle, or educational level doesn’t affect a child’s risk of autism.

Autism runs in families, so certain combinations of genes may increase a child’s risk.

A child with an older parent has a higher risk of autism.

Pregnant women who are exposed to certain drugs or chemicals, like alcohol or anti-seizure medications, are more likely to have autistic children. Other risk factors include maternal metabolic conditions such as diabetes and obesity. Research has also linked autism to untreated phenylketonuria (also called PKU, a metabolic disorder caused by the absence of an enzyme) and rubella (German measles).

There is no evidence that vaccinations cause autism.


Autism Screening and Diagnosis

It can be hard to get a definite diagnosis of autism. Your doctor will focus on behavior and development.

For children, diagnosis usually takes two steps.

  • A developmental screening will tell your doctor whether your child is on track with basic skills like learning, speaking, behavior, and moving. Experts suggest that children be screened for these developmental delays during their regular checkups at 9 months, 18 months, and 24 or 30 months of age. Children are routinely checked specifically for autism at their 18-month and 24-month checkups.
  • If your child shows signs of a problem on these screenings, they’ll need a more complete evaluation. This might include hearing and vision tests or genetic tests. Your doctor might want to bring in someone who specializes in autism disorders, like a developmental pediatrician or a child psychologist. Some psychologists can also give a test called the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS).

If you weren’t diagnosed with autism as a child but notice yourself showing signs or symptoms, talk to your doctor.


Autism Treatment

There’s no cure for autism. But early treatment can make a big difference in development for a child with autism. If you think your child shows symptoms of ASD, tell your doctor as soon as possible.


What works for one person might not work for another. Your doctor should tailor treatment for you or your child. The two main types of treatments are:

  • Behavioral and communication therapy to help with structure and organization. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is one of these treatments; it promotes positive behavior and discourages negative behavior. Occupational therapy can help with life skills like dressing, eating, and relating to people. Sensory integration therapy might help someone who has problems with being touched or with sights or sounds. Speech therapy improves communication skills.
  • Medications to help with symptoms of ASD, like attention problems, hyperactivity, or anxiety.

Talk to your doctor before trying something different, like a special diet.WebMD Medical Reference


© 2019 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.



My Psychiatrist looks at me and says: ‘Did you recognize anything about yourself?’.

‘Not really, no.” I say.

And I continue talking to him about why I did not see myself as having a problem and I don’t understand why I am in the hospital and I start talking about how since my childhood I felt that life was an adventure although challenging at times and how I had a wild imagination and I really loved watching movies and I could memorize the dialog and I loved physics and mathematics and how things worked and how I read encyclopedias and was fascinated by how flowers grow and how ants build their nests and the feather of a bird was something I would study for hours and I couldn’t sleep at night because I wanted to know everything and my brain had a buzzing sound when I was 5 years old and I used to rock myself to sleep at night and I didn’t like the clothes my mom bought me and I hated apples, I REALLY hate apples and the TV was always too loud and I could smell my mothers cooking from hundreds of meters away and I could never see when people were angry and got into a lot of trouble without meaning to because I was completely caught up in my own world and I would climb to the top of trees because I liked the way it swayed in the wind and I loved to swim because I enjoyed the sensation of water on my skin and didn’t understand why I had to stay in school because it was so easy and I wasn’t allowed to answer all the questions all the time…

The Psychiatrist smiled, he nodded and said: ‘You just spoke at length about various things after I asked you one question. ADHD is the next topic for you to read about please. In addition, you made eye contact once and the tonality of your voice never changed which leads me to suspect that you are on the spectrum. Let’s look at trying to treat some of the symptoms you currently have and see how you react with some medication. Are you okay to try it?’ he asked.

‘Sure…’ I said.


He prescribed something for serotonin levels to stabilize and something for dopamine levels to stabilize. He said it helps for people with ADHD and major depression.

‘Excuse me?’ I said, ‘I don’t have depression, I love life!’ I exclaimed.

‘Sir, you tried to commit suicide a couple of days ago. The wound on your arm is still bleeding. You have major depression even if you frame it in your mind as “adventure”. I know it’s difficult to see it in yourself, understand it and accept it, but I will help you. Let’s get the nurse to clean your wound again, get you the medication and I suggest you take it easy the rest of the day and please read up on depression and ADHD and some more on Autism Spectrum Disorder. I will see you again tomorrow.’ he said and got up to go and speak to the nurse.


She cleaned the wound, gave me my medication, I read articles on Autism and Depression, I had lunch, I read some more, I had dinner, I took a shower, read more, took my medication and went to bed and started thinking about Autism, ADHD and Depression and fell into a deep sleep…