The Basic Steps Of Problem-Solving, even with high-functioning Autism, ADHD and OCPD

Problem-solving 101

So you’ve had a problem and want to know how to solve it, right? Wrong! According to modern “thinking” on problem-solving, we first need to ask the question: what is a problem?

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A common answer goes something like this: a problem is anything that can be seen as undesirable or dissatisfactory. This is wrong for two reasons – firstly, such an ambiguous definition would mean that just breathing could be construed as a problem; secondly, there are many more problems than those which stem from direct human dissatisfaction.

I prefer the following definition: a problem is anything that prevents us from reaching our current goal (if we believe we have one). By this criteria, not having enough money isn’t a problem, but not being able to pay the bills certainly would be.

So now that we have a working definition for problems, let’s begin by saying that problem-solving requires three steps:

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Problem Recognition.

The first step in solving any problem actually recognizes it as such – this means that you must be aware of the present circumstance which prevents you from attaining your goal. Sometimes it can be difficult to avoid falling into the trap of “ignorance is bliss”, especially when our feelings are involved; however, if you are unaware of your current situation, how do you know there’s even a problem to solve? This step is thus crucial because it prevents wasting time aimlessly searching for solutions to non-existent problems.

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Problem Analysis.

The second step is breaking down this problem into smaller pieces that are easier to identify and solve – in other words, you must ask yourself, “what exactly prevents me from reaching my goal?” Be specific! Just because the birdie didn’t come when you called it doesn’t mean you have a serious problem; however, if your boss demotes you for not showing up at work all the time, then I’d say there’s a good chance that might be enough of a reason to start looking around for ways to fix your situation.

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There’s even a name often given to the process of identifying smaller parts of a larger problem: dividing by 2s. In other words, if you have a big problem you need to solve, instead of tackling it head-on, try splitting it up into two separate problems which are smaller in nature and easier to solve. For example, if your landlord is about to evict you for not paying rent on time, recognize that the real issue here is simply money management; as such, instead of whining about how much you hate paperwork and filing, why not focus on finding ways to become better with money?

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Problem Solution.

Once we’ve identified what prevents us from reaching our goal, we must now figure out how to fix those issues – this step requires creative thinking: think outside the box! Once again, I look back at my own personal experiences: when I wanted a new car, the real problem was money management; in order to solve that, I had to come up with a list of creative ways to save (or spend less!) money every day.

Here are some examples of creative thinking:

– If you find yourself constantly checking your phone when you’re supposed to be studying/working, try buying a cheap alarm clock.

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– If you often find yourself skipping work or school due to mental health challenges, why not make an agreement with your boss/professor about how many days you’ll miss before getting fired/getting expelled? Then stick to it! [EDIT: after receiving numerous requests for more details on this approach, I looked back at my own life and remembered that I actually did something similar when working at my last job… even though not everyone knew about my high-functioning Autism, ADHD and OCPD, of course!].

– If you struggle to make friends in school or work, try finding ways to get involved in clubs/projects/teams/sports – problem solved!

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– If you can’t seem to focus on your work because of all the distractions around you, try moving somewhere else with less noise.

– If that doesn’t solve the problem, then taking up meditation might help! I never thought that’d be effective, but hey, whatever works for you.

By using these quick tips, not only are you preventing future problems from popping up again by setting yourself up with healthy habits now, but also improving your mood by discovering new interests and exploring possibilities? Plus, creativity is just plain fun.

Remember: if at first, you don’t succeed, try something else! (Just kidding, or am I…?!)

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Problem Resolution.

Finally, the last step is putting these ideas into action and solving this problem once and for all – it’s time to make a decision! For example, when I wanted a new car, my plan was set in stone: I had to save up over $2k worth of money for a deposit in order to afford to buy one — simple as that. Obviously, this step may be very short or take a long time depending on the complexity of your situation; however, either way, I can guarantee you there won’t be any headaches since this last point doesn’t require much thinking at all – if anything, it requires more will power.

There You Have It!

I hope that this article has been helpful to those of you who have been struggling with problems for quite some time. I know from personal experience that it really helps to read other people’s perspectives, as well as find new ways to look at your own life. In fact, there are many other types of problem-solving models – if you’d like me to write an article about one in particular, please let me know using the comments section below! Thank you so much for reading and sharing.

How To Deal With A Bully

Bullying is a touchy subject for many people. I am not talking about the kid on your street corner calling you names. I am instead referring to something much more serious, like cyberbullying or physical bullying (poking, pushing, etc.).

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First Step

The first way to deal with bullies is to tell an adult. This can be a relative, friend, teacher, or even the principal of your school. If these adults don’t do anything to stop the bully from his/her antics, this will certainly not help matters.

Another way to deal with bullies is to stand up for yourself and fight back! Don’t let them push you around and intimidate you. Stand up to them and tell them they’re wrong.

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Now, I know what some of you may be thinking:

What good will that do? The bully is just going to push around someone else! That’s true. But then again, the bully might stop picking on you and start picking on someone who isn’t so outspoken about it! Also, if a bully realizes that you aren’t going to be a push-over, he/she may think twice about picking on you again.

Now, here’s the real secret:

Guys and girls don’t tend to really fight back against bullies. Instead, they talk behind the bully’s back, run away from the situation, or ignore the bully altogether. All of this just makes the bullying worse, especially if the bully sees that s/he can get away with it because nobody will confront her or him.

And don’t worry… If you tell an adult about something like this, they won’t be mad at you for fighting back! They’ll instead try to deal with the bully(s) too.

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One more thing to remember:

If you’re being bullied, it’s important not to blame yourself for what is happening to you. Sometimes bullies are just mean because they have no friends or something like that. It’s not your fault!

So now that you know how to deal with a bully, let’s look at some examples.

Example #1: You are walking to school, and a bully approaches you… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d tell the girl or guy that they’re being mean. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll stand up for myself and start standing up for myself. I’ll yell back and tell her or him that they’re not going to push me around anymore!

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Example #2: A bully is bothering you at school… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d talk to the principal of my school about it. If the principal doesn’t do anything about it, then I’ll tell my teacher. If talking to the teachers won’t make the bullying stop, I’ll find someone who can protect me (they could be another adult, like a police officer).

Example #3: The bully is being mean online… What do you do?

One thing you could do is ignore the bully altogether. If the person doesn’t stop after a while, then I’d block them so they can’t contact you anymore.

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Example #4: A friend of yours is being bullied… What do you do?

If your friend isn’t confronting the bullies, then they’ll probably appreciate you if you do so for them. If your friend does confront the bully, sometimes the results can be bad.

Example #5: A bully is bothering you at school… What do you do?

Here’s what I would do: First, I’d talk to the principal of my school about it. If the principal doesn’t do anything about it, then I’d tell my teacher. If talking to the teachers won’t make the bullying stop, I’ll find someone who can protect me (they could be another adult, like a police officer).

Another thing you could do is find out if there are any other victims. If there are, maybe you can all confront the bully together!

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One more thing…

Sometimes bullies will back down if confronted, and they realize that their bullying is not working. They might even realize that what they’re doing is wrong and apologize to the person(s) they bullied. If this doesn’t happen, or if the bully starts to apologize only to turn around and bully other children, then seek out an adult for help.

Lastly…

If you are being bullied, don’t blame yourself! It’s not your fault… Sometimes bullies pick on people who are too shy or scared to stand up for themselves.

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If you think that someone close to you might be a victim of bullying, it’s good to talk to them about the above information. Create a plan together! You can also ask others if they have been bullied or know anyone who has been bullied and see what methods worked best for them.

For example, maybe having one friend with you when confronting the bully will make him/her back downβ€”or maybe blocking the bully’s phone number/email/etc. It makes him/her back down if he/she is being mean online.

Remember that there are lots of ways of dealing with bullies! Be creative, too – you don’t have to use all of the above methods… Maybe you can come up with something that works just as well or better!

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And if that doesn’t work, there are many other solutions. If one method seems to not be working, try another method, do something different entirely… But remember, you have the RIGHT to stand up for yourself. You have the right to say “no.” You have the right to defend yourself against threats and violence. And you have the right to get help from someone who can protect you if needed.

But remember, even though bullies are wrong, being mean doesn’t feel good either! Even if you’re angry or upset, don’t take your anger out on someone else! If standing up for yourself is hard, then maybe try writing things down or drawing things out to help you feel better.

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I hope this information helps you deal with bullies!

You can also seek other methods of dealing with bullying by talking to an adult, looking online, asking your friends… Be creative, and don’t be afraid to try new things! But whatever happens… Hopefully, the bullying will stop soon. And hopefully, you’ll be able to find a way to protect yourself!

Remember, don’t blame yourself for the bullying, and remember that it is never your fault. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the bully’s problems. You have every right to defend yourself and stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid – you can do it! You can find a way to bully-proof yourself and protect yourself. And you can also try to make the world a better place by sharing your knowledge with others like I’m doing now πŸ™‚ Might as well have a little fun while spreading kindness πŸ˜€

I hope this information helps you deal with bullies! Remember that there are lots of ways to deal with bullies, so whatever method works best for you, go for it! But remember, even if the bullying doesn’t stop, don’t blame yourself… It’s not your fault. And you can build up your strength and courage by helping others with their problems.

But whether or not the bullying stops – thank you for reading. And I hope you’re doing well πŸ™‚